Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
