I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
worst night to have a conscience
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
