I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
