As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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