He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
