We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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