But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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