I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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