White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
