maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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