You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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