i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
