Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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