Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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