If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
