k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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