There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
