Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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