do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
