Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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