Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
