I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
