I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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