You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
