this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She bit a glass in half.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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