I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
