if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have aggressive nipples.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
