In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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