Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
