We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize