True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize