I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
