life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
