You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
