I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
