He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
