I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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