evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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