Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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