Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I forget how to act sober
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
