let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
