Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
