Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
