Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize