Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
