do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
