We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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