New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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