The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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