had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
