New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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