2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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