Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
