is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
