Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
