I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
