the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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