STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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